fulfill the desire which He creates."
~Amy Carmichael~
Marriage is a earthly picture of Christ and His love for us.
Passion, sacrificial love...this is what God is all about!
Of course satan wants to mess this up...
He wants to destroy this beautiful picture of grace and love,
but we can't let him. We have to knock him down with God's truth.
My advice regarding this chapter is to pray. Pray hard.
A guy that meets/exceeds Christian standards is rare.
I pray for him every day...and I hope that he is praying for me.
Alright, enough of the 'mushy stuff'.
Let's get to the lies...
Lie 1: I need a boyfriend
Let's face it. We like it when guys are nice to us, compliment how we look, etc. We squeal to see movies where couples kiss in the sunset/sunrise. We just eat it up. But we miss one crucial thing...our love for a boyfriend/potential mate doesn't start with the compliments and the kisses. It starts when we get up each morning and have our quiet time with God. God is love, and a satisfying love is impossible without Him. Anything less will leave us wanting more...and always feeling empty.
God did not design marriage to make you happy, but to glorify Himself. Ephesians 2:30-32 says, "For we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church."
God does not want you to "awaken love" until the time is right (Song of Solomon 2:7). Our desire for love is not wrong, it was created by God! However, we must hold on to this treasure and guard our hearts. This love will be 'stirred up' when that man comes into your life and you are in a position to be married to him (this includes wholehearted approval from your parents). Even though these desires are stirred during that time, they should not be fulfilled until after the marriage ceremony.
Lie 2: It's okay to go out with a non-Christian
Even if a guy professes to be a Christian, sits on the front row every Sunday, or is a pastor's kid, that does not necessarily mean that they are saved. The question is, do you see fruit in their life that is evidence of their belief in God? Most Christian girls will say that they do not want to marry a non-Christian, but they see no problem in dating one. Huh?!? I must confess that makes no sense to me whatsoever! Forget 'missionary dating'...you will never change him! Only God can change a man's heart, and He doesn't need you to compromise your heart to do it.
Not only does God want you to marry a Christian, He wants you to marry someone who will lead you Spiritually. Your relationship with your mate should draw you not only closer to each other, but closer to God.
Lie 3: It's not really sex
If you have to tell yourself this, then it is wrong. Anything that even hints at sexual immorality is just that...sexually immoral according to Ephesians 5:3: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." Remember, Jesus told us that "anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt 5:28).
Let's be practical...according to God, sexual immorality includes:
- Dressing to draw attention to you...or certain parts of you
- Flirting...and I mean, all flirting
- Looking at sensual images online
- Media that contains sexual humor/language (Eph. 5:4)
- And the list goes on...
Lie 4: I can't handle the loneliness of staying pure
Staying pure isn't about handling loneliness, it's about turning to God instead of someone on earth to let Him fulfill your needs. True joy comes only from Him, and He will fill that void in your heart each day as you wait for your beloved. Yes, it is very lonely! Try living hundreds of miles from your best friends and starting at a new school! I know it is hard, but I also know that it will be worth it. Each day away from the shoulders to cry on is one step further to deepening my relationship with Christ. Let me close with a portion of a letter included in this book (Lies Young Women Believe):
"God had someone saved for me, and in His perfect timing He brought him along. I discovered that the way of purity is far better, even though it requires patience and a willingness to go against the flow. The outcome is worth every sacrifice and makes marriage all the sweeter."
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