3 Lies We Believe About Relationships

"Wishing to be friends is a quick work,
but friendship is a slow ripening fruit."
~Aristotle~

Lie 1: It's okay to be one person at home and a different person in public/online
If you life contradicts what you say you believe...then you are living this lie and are a hypocrite. Before you tell me that hypocrite is a harsh word, let me give you the definition of it: "A person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs." So...if you act one way around certain people and a different way around your parents/home, then you are living the life of a hypocrite.

In Matthew 27, Jesus told the hypocrites, "You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean...on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."

God wants you to be of one mind and content in who He made you to be. "Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded" (James 4:8). Genuine, lived-out faith is crucial to your relationship with God. After all, how can you be in a relationship with anyone unless you trust them implicitly? If you are living a double life of hypocrisy, you must leave your old life completely. Confess your sins to God, and pray that He will "Unite (your) heart to fear (His) name" (Ps. 86:11)

Lie 2: If I just had friends, I wouldn't be so lonely
Most of us girls have had a bad 'friend-day', and used it as an excuse to curl up in bed and have a good cry...or down an entire pint of ice cream while we watch the latest chick flick. We miss the fact that our earthly friends should be second to our Best Friend. God created us to know Him and to be His friend, yet we still buy into the lie that God is not enough.

We forget that there is no greater friend than God! God never leaves us (Heb. 13:5), knows everything about us (Matt. 10:30), loves us despite our sin (Jn. 3:16), will never let us be separated from His love (Rom. 8:35), and desires to live with us forever (2 Jn. 2)! That's true friendship. God gives us the model for friendship through His great love for us. Just remember, friendship requires effort from both sides. How well are you getting to know God each day? When was the last time you had a conversation with your Best Friend?

True friendship is not focused on you. Listen to this profound statement, "Ask the Lord to help you be more concerned about who needs you than who likes you." Wow. That's hard. Who wants to be friends with people that don't really like you? Just remember that God calls you to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 5:44).

Lie 3: I am my own authority
Our submission places us under the protection of God, but rebellion opens us up to satan's attacks. Satan had Eve convinced that following God would be a miserable choice and that she would miss out on life. Satan's lies have not changed. He tries to convince us that choosing God's way will be miserable for us...and that we will miss out on a more exciting life (like Hollywood, pop culture, and distorted self-worth).

Submission does not mean agreement with authority. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Eph. 5:21). No ifs, buts, or exceptions...just submit. I'm not talking about going along with a leader despite their sin. I am talking about presenting your side in a humble, respectful attitude. Your authorities in life will not always be right. This doesn't mean we should brainwash our minds with false beliefs and doctrines, but rather, learn how to respond in a respectful way to the authorities in your life.

The willingness to put ourselves under God's authority shows how big we really believe God is...does your mouth match your heart? Do you believe God can change the hearts of those in authority over you? Proverbs 21:1 tells us that "The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand if the Lord; He turns it wherever He will." Trust that God is in control...He will never let us down.